Starting Fresh, Starting Over


March was when I last visited my blog site. That’s a long time.

I spent three hours rooting this blog. It felt like rooting through a dusty attic.  None of the pages, posts, media were worth keeping, I tossed the lot-almost. I kept the title, and I kept the photos of front doors. I love front doors, and windows.

Starting Fresh-01
Springtime Tomato Plant

 

So here I am starting fresh and starting over: although I have learned that starting over is generally a bad idea. Would you like to know the most painful memory I carried through life from my high school days

It wasn’t feeling like I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t losing a boyfriend to the prom queen.  It was  starting over, and over and over.

I endlessly started over on my assignments. I was forever running out of room on the paper, smudging something, misspelling something,trying to find the perfect beginning sentence. Consequently, I  was always rushing, scrambling and burning the midnight oil to finish an assignment that was half-done. I carried this misery on through college, always trying for a perfect beginning and scrabbling my way that limp and sad assignment handed in at the eleventh hour.

The danger of setting one’s heart on a perfect beginning is becoming so discouraged by the struggle to start that one simply gives up on the things one loves most in life. When that happens, one starts spending time with distractions that mean little, yet serve to soothe an unhappy and restless mind.

Advertisements